girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
