I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
