Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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