1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I want a musical about memes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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