"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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