I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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