Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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