My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
