This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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