i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize