I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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