I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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