i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
