I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have feelings that need drinking.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
