I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize