Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
