Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
