she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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