my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
