Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And then my night got REAL pukey
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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