i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
