Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
