now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
