If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
