so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
