The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
vagina is talking i cant
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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