Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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