I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
