So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
