Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So. Much. Porn.
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