I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
