I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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