you win again, gameday.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
