Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
