Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
