Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
