Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
