Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
