whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
