well I can't set my house on fire every night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
