I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
time to smoke my breakfast
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
