wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
