Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
