and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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