The maid of honor just puked.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just found puke in my bra..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
