its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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