is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
FUCK WHALES
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
