The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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