worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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