So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I would ride that face into the sunset
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
