i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the condom got lost in my hair
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
