Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
that may or may not have been my penis.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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