the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
