Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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