I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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