Cold hands, warm shart.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize