hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
